Sometime in August 2004 Neil and Debs (but mostly Debs) decided that they needed to move house. It was decided (Debs again) that they would look for a new place that had the following things going for it:

1:    Had to be very, very quiet (a requirement of Debs and Tel)

2:    Had an annexe

3:    Had to be very very quiet. (a requirement of Debs and Tel)

4:    Had to be miles from any pub, school and any other building where people might congregate and make a noise. (a requirement of Debs and Tel)

5:    Had to have a really big garden. (a requirement of Debs and Tel)

6:    Had to have a workshop (Finally someone listened to Neil)

7:    Had to be within our price bracket but we prepared to lie and perjure ourselves to the Halifax in order to get the dosh released.

8:    Had to be within driving distance of work. (We were flexible on this, especially Tel who didn't give a fart where it was as he'd retired and gave not the bollock of one monkey about how far it was from anywhere).

We looked at several places during the summer and wasted a goodly amount of petrol and  everyone else's time (mostly estate agents) and people who were trying to sell derelict hovels for figures approaching the Brazilian national debt just because some 16 year old Muppet with a face like a pizza advert, representing Mann & Co. had informed them that the market in that particular area was 'buoyant' and that their property would 'walk off their books' and 'sell itself'

I don't know who was the most deluded, the 16 year old for thinking that they would actually be stupid enough believe him, or the seller for actually being that stupid!

We put in a reduced offer on the Tollgate and promptly had our hand bitten off, (damn, offered too much)!

The chain was short with no chain and a cash buyer on one of our properties, aha we though this will sail through in 4 weeks, no bother!

Sail through my arse.

After doing battle with the world's most incompetent set of solicitors and a selection of assorted planks of varying density, we finally completed on 17th December and period of 4 months from offer to completion!

The only saving grace was that KN Dartford got the job of moving the incumbent out of that Tollgate and over to Cyprus. (Must phone Joe about my brown envelope).

OK here's the bit you wanted, the piccies!.